Is this really Love?

That the Christian home is under attack is common knowledge. The effect of the cancer which has been weakening families and marriages for years is clearly seen in terminally broken relationships and human beings.

Many causes for this familial breakdown in our society can be mentioned, but this article focuses on the basic weakness of the foundation – erroneous thoughts, attitudes, and actions,. Subtle and not-so-subtle messages of advertisements, music, literature, media, education, friends, and associates bombard us – telling and showing us misconceptions about love and marriage. Many of us listen and conform to what we hear. Let’s review what these communication channels teach about love and marriage.

Love is a feeling when the feeling’s gone, so is love. Such expression as “I don’t love you anymore because I don’t feel attracted to you any more” reveal that distorted view of love. True love, however, is a commitment. It isn’t defined by the emotional highs and lows, but by a decision to love, and that choice is sustained by an uncompromising will.

Love is conditional, reflected in the attitude, “I will love you if you meet my needs.” Real love, in contrast to popular notions, doesn’t highlight the one experiencing the feeling of romantic excitement, instead, it expresses deep appreciation for another human being – an intense awareness of his/her needs and longings. It is unselfish, giving and caring. Conditional love, which continues the relationship only as long as it is to my advantage, vaporizes sooner or later.

Love can occur at first sight. Perhaps you’ll disagree with me with love at first sight is a physical and emotional impossibility. Yes, there are emotions unleashed at first sight, but these don’t constitute love.

Love isn’t simply a feeling of romantic excitement. It goes beyond intense sexual attraction. One has got to know the person before he can appreciate the nuances of her personality. One cannot love an unknown somebody. The temporary feelings at first sight may be called falling in love with love, not with a person. Committed love grows like a plant, and that process takes time.

Marriage can be temporary. “If I am unhappy, I can always get out of it through divorce,” the biblical view of marriage is permanent. It is a covenant, not just a contract, between the married couple and God.

Marrying the wrong person is better than remaining single and lonely throughout life. This statement echoes those who want to get married for marriage sake. Generally speaking, it is easier to remedy the loneliness than to endure a wrong relationship for a lifetime. The threat of being “an old maid” is scary, so some girls grab the last trip out of matrimony. Too often, the trip is a one-way ticket to disaster.


    3 responses

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      September 16, 2009 at 6:21 am

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      September 23, 2009 at 7:09 pm

    3. I enjoyed reading your blog. Keep it that way.

      August 22, 2010 at 11:14 am

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